The Road
Not being able to calm the mind. At any age, it can cause repercussions in the future. Taking care of my body required my mind to be precise. I would become paralyzed with fear if I clutter my head with every possible outcome. I spent so much time thinking; eventually, I froze in a loop of inaction. Even if I spent hours thinking about a scenario, this would only worsen the situation. The severity of this depended on my state of mind. Generally, I let my fear control me, leading me down dark paths. All these less fortunate paths caused me to learn a great deal about myself. Every failure due to inaction, every time I saw myself crumble due to my own inability, made me realize how important it was to conquer my demons. These helpless states in my life made me sick; it’s not like people will always be there to dig me out of my own grave. Friends have often helped me out of hell, but I tend to fall back down.
My critical nature did the reverse of what I thought it did. Being harsh to yourself would forge greater products. One can develop tremendously by rebuilding one’s ideas. Still, it will not do any good when I become afraid of criticism. Fear of my own self-criticism could easily paralyze me for life. If I tunnel vision on the little imperfections of everything, I won’t be able to see the mountain in front of me. Being able to step back is a challenging task. To see the world for what it is is a difficult task. Being able to climb through the mountain of your own self-hatred and not fall back down is no easy task.
The only reason I can now climb forward and never look back at my fear Is because I now understand that fear does not have to control me. Fear can fuel just as efficiently as it can clog your engines. It is up to the user, the person at the wheel, to understand how to use their fuel. I can sit and wait and wait and wait. One day, no one else will come to the side of the road, and I will never get back on my path. Therefore, I must take action now before it is too late. I am the only one who can help me escape hell. The only person who can get me back on the road is myself.