Importance of the Father

Today, I will be talking about Fathers–and the importance of having a Father. I will use Oedipus Rex by Sophocles and East of Eden by John Steinbeck.

Let us first start with the ancient Greek text of Oedipus Rex. I will not be breaking down the psychological or dramatic irony of the text in depth. Instead, I want to look at the crux of the oedipal problem, which is the sins of our Fathers.

I will place myself into the shoes of Oedipus and try to ascertain a prideful thought process. If my Father had not listened to the oracle and asked for my death, then I would have never been saved by a shepherd and raised in another land. Therefore, it was not me who killed my Father. It was my Father who killed himself. My sins are my Father’s, and I cannot be held responsible for never knowing him.

This is a one-sided view, and many people hold this view today. They believe that they are separate from the actions of their parents, but when they do something wrong, it is not their own fault. In a way, Oedipus falls down a path of self-destruction due to his Father. But the other side of the story is Oedipus himself. Oedipus is the sin of his Fathers. He would share the blame, even if it was not of his own knowing. Even if it was not his own volition to be born or raised in another kingdom. He is still a part of his Father. Oedipus is just as responsible, if not more so, than his Father because he was blinded by pride, so much so that he had to blind himself to see. That was the ancient view. Still in many ways relevant today.

Let us take a more modern text like Steinbeck’s East of Eden. Beginning in the 20th century, Samuel Hamilton, one of the story’s main protagonists, lives on barren land, raising a family of nine. Instead of harvesting crops, he decides to bring life to his inventions. And that’s how Sam provided for his family, with his ingenuity, Witt, humour and wisdom. Samuel is seen as a guiding light for the people around him. He helps his neighbours and does not remind them of their debts. It is this humility that, in many ways, cannot be mimicked because the thought of return does not cross Sam’s mind.

Sam, in some ways, resembles God in the Garden of Eden. But unlike God, Samuel is not everlasting; like everyone, he must pass on…Sam does pass on–he passed on all the characteristics to his children. These traits are seen in all of his children, yet not one of them was indeed like Sam. The closest was Tom. Sam’s relationship with Tom was that of struggle. Sam saw the battle in his boy’s eyes. The inability for Tom to find himself. To make his own way with his own creations. And Sam knew that there was no magical answer he could bestow upon. Sam could only love his son and hope that Tom would find his way, hope that Tom would see that he did not have to hide behind the shadows of a giant. That he could stand on his own two feet. This is the modern view–that Fathers should pass down their knowledge and children should stand on their own two feet.

Lastly, I want to discuss my ideas on the Importance of a Father as a contemporary thinker. I use the term Father loosely since it mainly looks at the masculine side of growing up as a child. To be raised to be more prideful and have hard-set values. This is not to say that Women cannot have a masculine effect on their children. Quite the contrary. In fact, my grandmother instilled in me the idea of having a higher standard of worth and pride in what I do. Anyway, to remain on topic, I want to talk about the male role models in my life who have impacted me the most.

One of them is my best friend, Who recently lost his Father. I say recently, but it was two or three years ago, but strangely, it feels closer to me. To keep private matters private, I won’t go into detail as to what happened. I do not know what happens, and I think it is not knowing what discomforts me. Not that it affects me directly, but because I know that my friend has not received the proper closure in many ways, that eats at me. I would not know what to do if I lost my Father. The pressure on my friend is like no other, living in a world that has to support a family without much guidance. All in the blink of an eye.

I want my friend to know that we support and trust him. But please do not curl up into a ball and die crushed from the pressures from outside you. Take the weight off, and let someone help. If not for yourself, then at least for your family. It is of vital importance to have the ability to communicate with your family with the utmost trust, even when you feel like you have nothing to say. At the very least, say that.

I am going to end this video with a story. My Father and I were in the hospital because I had recently been paralyzed. I will not go into detail on why or how. But I was in the rehabilitation hospital, and my Father walked into my room as I lay there, unable to move my feet. Unable to run away. My Father told me that my Uncle had passed away in Australia from cancer. It was not that I knew him well; I did not know him. But it was the fact that my cousin had lost her Father and my aunt had lost her Husband. All while I was helpless to do or say anything that could help. I shared an experience with my Father that day that I could never repeat. I had never cried in the hospital up until that point, and I prided myself on that feat. But that day, I wept like a baby.

The takeaway from this story is not to be depressing and pessimistic. Even though I had no place to go or anything I could do, that is the nature of life. We have a limited amount of choices that we get to make in life. But with our experiences, we can decide to make the right ones. Now, what is right or wrong is subjective. But I do know that not participating can only take you so far. At some point, you have to come back.

Experience and communicating–are all we can do in our present.

Works Cited

Steinbeck, John. East of Eden. Penguin Classics, 2000.

Edited and with an introduction by Harold Bloom. Sophocles’ Oedipus Rex. New York: Chelsea House, 2007.